Crock of shit. Pure crock.

I was under the impression that I'd be leaving here after the first round was over. Apparently not. We're here for the second round as well, though not doing columns for every pick.

Now, let me explain...I don't mind being here all that much. However, they should have made it clear that we would be here for two rounds, not just one.

So now I'm stuck here until the second round is over. I was hoping to head home after the first round and relax a bit prior to heading out tonight--getting the bonus relaxation time would have been nice.

But what else should I expect working at a magazine? Good communication? Please...

Check out Suzy Kolber with the somewhat-plunging neckline there! Think what's his face with her is really concentrating on analyzing the players? I don't. Wow...trying to work the Melissa Stark factor.

But they all still lose out to Bonnie Bernstein of CBS.

Fantastic.

I've given up my Sox ticket tonight because I thought I'd be here at work, covering the first round of the NFL draft. But, after Minnesota blew its wad and ran out of time while on the clock, causing the Jaguars and Panthers to sprint to the podium, saving 30 minutes. Then the Ravens and Seahawks sprinted to the podium and made their picks after the Vikings caught up to the fray, also saving another half hour or so. now, we're 12 picks away from the end of the round---my quick math says that's 180 minutes, or 3 hours, and that's if each team takes the full 15 minutes. That means I'll be out of here around 5 or so...the game is at 6, so I could have gone. Oh well...more money to waste, since my brother doesn't want me to charge people for the tickets.

I'm almost fully recovered from the hurricane-like self-explosion of a couple days ago. Thank you all for dealing with it. I'd probably be perfect today, except that I had a pretty damned bad dream last night, in which I was attending my brother's funeral in the near future. I have no idea why I had this dream, but it really freaked me out, obviously...so that's kind of set me off a bit today. I don't know what's been up with my brain lately, but I hope it goes away soon. Probably won't post much today...in 50 minutes I have a radio show in London, Ontario, Canada, eh. Then at 2pm, I'm doing a show in Fresno, Calif., with The Juice Crew. Sadly, neither of these stations has online-listening capabilities. Other than that, I've got plenty of work to do today, so you may see much silence here. Then again, you never really know.

Well, tonight I watched "24" with Luis, since we didn't get to do it Tuesday. However, I was a bit tired, so we didn't go out or anything. We've really neglected Hawkeye's and probably should start going again, lest we're forgotten. :) But of course, that costs money...so we'll see.

Tomorrow I've got assloads of work to do, more or less, because I didn't do as much as I should have today. Part of me is glad, because I won't be bored, but I do like to have those "easy" Fridays every now and then.

After work, I'm meeting Troy and Eulalia and Nick at Golf Mill to go to The Men's Wearhouse to figure out what us fine gentlemen will be wearing. Since my style is questionable sometimes, Eulalia and Nick are going along to keep myself and Troy from buying already-mentioned (though not seriously) plaid suits with striped socks, white shoes, white ties and (only I will have this) a white top hat. So that should be interesting.

I just used nearly half the morning to type out an email. Man, my productivity sucks when my supervisor isn't here. Of course, I believe I deserved that reward, since I got a hold of my last personnel guy for last week's assignment and I now can finish all the writing I had to do. I had three of four teams written, and now I can write the fourth. Yay.

Then, I get to edit like mad. Oh, and I'm starting the promotion now...go to this site for Draft Day coverage on Saturday...I bet you'll like it. Screw ESPN. Kiper don't know anything other than how much gel to put in his hair to look pretty for the cameras and the rest of them have completely lost touch with reality. If I hear Theismann say once this year that a draft pick is putting a team in the Super Bowl, I'm going to hunt him down.

Music rules. It always is right. I submit the following from a new band called "Gob," a punk-rock like tome that really, I kind of liked before all this crap went down. I submit my new favorite lyrics:

"Give up the grudge.
Shut your fuckin' mouth.
Why you gotta judge
everybody but yourself?
Take a look around you,
there ain't nobody home.
I may be a loser
but at least I'm not alone."

The last part doesn't completely apply here...but the first part does. :) I love music, even the mainstream stuff can strike a chord much of the time.

By the way, I scored a goal in hockey tonight...I don't remember much of it, which is weird--I guess the ghost of [insert great dead hockey player here] entered my body, because I had to ask Nick and Kim what exactly I did. Well, Kim, here it is...my braggin'. ;) Apparently, I fought through two defenders with the puck somehow, hit a backhand shot into the goalie who came out of the crease and butterflied himself...the rebound came to my forehand and I shot it through the five-hole or just under his armpit--no one was sure of where it went exactly. Anyway, that was our only goal and we lost. Damn. Now I'm off to bed, so goodnight all. :)

P.S....Props to Alejandra for saving me from completely scrapping "The Accidental Tourist" from my list of movies/books to see/read. I was beginning to wonder if I was insane or wildly mistaken about that book. So thanks...and thanks for reading too. :)

Ahhh...lunch time is here. Since I brought a sandwich I bought yesterday, I'll use this time to post the blog I would have posted had I not had an outburst yesterday.

We had softball practice, and it was pretty nice in that we were actually drilled as though it were a practice. Hopefully that helps, though I doubt it will since there were only five of us there. Commitment, baby. Commitment.

I got home after 8 pm, so we taped "24." We were sitting down to watch it at 9, when my brother called...his car was acting up on his way home from his class at CoD (College of Dupage), and he needed me to follow him to my dad's work in Oak Lawn and then drive him home. So out the window went "24." No biggie, as I still have the tape. It was no big deal scrapping the plans I didn't really have last night to do that, and now my bro is looking into finally getting a new car...let's hope he's successful.

Otherwise, we have, as mentioned in the previous post, a floor hockey game tonight. As usual, I'm psyched. Unfortunately, it's a 9:30 game, so there's plenty of time between now and then.

I don't like the mood I'm currently in. After last night's rant, I'm not pissed. I'm not in a bad mood. But, I'm in this mood that I fear, where I'm about ready to pounce, and not in a good way. I sincerely hope everyone at work shuts the hell up today, so I don't go off on them, because that's how I feel right now. I'm really not in the mood for it right now. On the flip side, I am motivated and a bit fired up...which is nice. I just hope it translates into something, be it a good work day or a great hockey performance later.

Thanks for "listening"...

Do not comment publicly on this post. (all caps for emphasis and notice): FOR THE MOST PART, THIS STUFF HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THOSE OF YOU WHO READ THIS, SINCE I REALLY DON'T SEE MANY OF YOU THAT OFTEN. IF YOU'RE WORRIED, DON'T BE. I just need to blow off some steam. I apologize for the length...

Ya know, there are times, like today, when I'd just like to beat the ever-living shit out of everyone I know and deal with on a mostly-daily basis. My God, I am sooooo sick and tired of being told in one moment that, "Andy, you should have more confidence and self-esteem," but then the next moment I'm a jackass, stupid, that what I say makes no sense, that whatever I suggest/do is wrong or dumb or won't work.

I'm sick and tired of people not acknowledging that, hey, there are some things I know better than they do. And I'm sick and tired of being questioned on everything I do, as though I'm a schoolboy who has never done a damn thing before.

I'm sick and tired of people doing one of two things with me--there's hardly any middle ground, it seems:
(a) They take me to be so serious about things all the time.
(b) They don't take what I have to say or do seriously enough.

I'm sick and tired of people somehow never understanding a thing I say, even though I'm a professional communicator.

I'm sick and tired of people getting pissed off that I can be loud, annoying and a super-take-charge kind of person, but then doing their best to drown me out or disregard anything I have to say or do as menial. Then, when I simply give up and cave to whatever they suggest, they ask me what's wrong.

I'm sick and tired of people saying I'm being so defensive about something when I'm simply completing a thought, but then saying they weren't being defensive when they were doing the same thing.

I'm sick and tired of people telling me I'm always pushing the blame on someone or something else instead of myself, or that I'm putting blinders on to the world or my own so-called major problems, especially when those people are doing the same thing, if not at a worse degree.

I'm sick and tired of people telling me everything that's wrong with me, though I see all the same things in those people. Then, when I try to say anything about it, I'm an idiot--but it's OK for them to say those things to me. I'm the one with the problems, not them.

I'm sick and tired of people not facing their own problems and instead worrying far too much about me and other people, particularly when I (the others) seem to be doing just fine, in some cases better than the person. And if I'm technically not, I'm at least happy with where I am.

I'm sick and tired of people telling me ALL THE TIME to stop bitching, but all *I* hear all day is bitching and whining, with some moaning thrown in for good measure. And it's all about bullshit too.

I'm sick and tired of people trying to understand how I tick, how I can think this way or that, how I can do this or not do that, and be happy with the outcome. I'm tired of them trying and failing to understand that I'm a pretty go-with-the-flow type of person for the most part, though I do like some standard order so we can play by the rules as long as the situation allows.

I'm sick and tired of people not understanding that, really, I don't give a shit about what most people think about me, unless there's really something in it for me. I'll take care of myself and my own. That's that. If it's cold-hearted, well, tough crap. What comes first in my life is my business, and there's nobody out there who can change it. I'm also tired of people telling me that I'm so self-centered, when I bust my ass to do whatever I can for those I love and/or truly care about. And I'm tired of some of those people simply not acknowledging that EVER, or doing the same for me.

I'm sick and tired of people not realizing that, hey, what's good or preferred for you may not be good or preferred for me. I'm also tired of people telling me I'm not open to anything and that I'm close-minded and won't do this or that. That's bullshit. I'll do just about anything at least once, and if I don't want to try it, that doesn't mean I'm fucking close-minded. Being open-minded doesn't mean you do EVERYTHING.

Of course, I guess I'm bitching now. But that's tough. I'm really close to snapping on some people in my life right now, and several of you have seen me when I truly get angry...which reminds me of another thing: I'm tired of not getting any sort of respect from some people--I said above that I don't care what most people think, but to an extent, I'd like to be respected by whomever I come in contact with--not liked, but respected for SOMEthing. And I'm tired of having people take advantage of the fact that I don't usually care when people mock me. It's OK for the most part, but you know what? When you do it constantly and I'm always on the receiving end, it grows a demon. And that reminds me too: I'm sick and tired of the bullshit double-standards that exist in my life. It's OK to mock Andy, but when Andy makes innocent jokes about me, that's not OK, even though everyone else is making comments too. Fuck that. And *I'm* the one with the self-esteem issues? Please.

That is all...I'm going to bed.

Now who has seen/read "The Accidental Tourist?" No one? :)

Question: Has anyone here read the book or seen the movie "The Accidental Tourist?" I saw a clip from the movie somewhere on TV the other day, and it's one I remember kind of liking in high school but not really getting to enjoy because I had to read it for class. Anyone who's read/seen it, let me know what you thought...

Yesterday, I played my "geeky" as Laz would call it, game, Civilization III again. But I'll spare you the details. All you have to know is that I didn't stay up past 1 a.m. :)

Today, we have the potential for softball practice. That's cool. "24" will have to wait until later in the evening if that's the case.

Man, am I psyched, and far too early.

16-inch softball is starting up NEXT Friday, which is killing me because it's not THIS Friday...Me, my brother and my cousin Will along with our friend Bill from the neighborhood, trekked up to Sluggers across the street from Wrigley to use the batting cages. First off, I had forgotten how much the Sluggers batting cages suck. I didn't bring my softball bat, because, well, I didn't want to walk into a crowded bar with a bat--the kicker: it wasn't crowded, though the Cubs were playing on the road that night--I thought Cubs fans were loyal? Shouldn't they have been at the bar across the street from the stadium rooting on their team? Guess they're no better than Sox fans in that sense. So the bats all sucked too. I got some good swings in, which is all I wanted--to stretch those muscles out. I may go tonight to the place by my house...we'll see.

But, to reiterate: Is there anything more enticing than an approaching softball season? I suggest there is not.

Well, I've been busy with two days of Sox games and going out in the evenings...but I wanted to share something interesting I just saw, prior to my family's supremely scaled back Easter meal. Usually it's a feast, but because of the kitchen renovation going on, my mom has really cut it back this year...we aren't even hosting friends or relatives.

Anyway, I just wanted to point out that I suppose kids will always be kids. On the way back from the Sox game, we passed this special-ed school that is a mere blocks from my parents' house. There were two women walking and their little son was climbing up the side of the handicapped-access ramp and running down the ramp. He derived much fun from it, I'm sure. The reason I'm so sure is that me, my brother and my friends used to do the very same thing when we were little--like, before we were in school, when our moms would go shopping at the Fairplay on 51st and Western (somewhat a neighborhood grocery store) together and we'd go with them. We'd even race up one ramp, slide under the railings, run to the second one and up it and then under the railings on that one. It used to be a load of fun.

So, I guess for all the talk about "these kids nowadays," it's funny to see a kid doing something you did nearly 20 years ago--something that's really unusual (like, not Little League or something like that).

Happy Easter to those who read this and celebrate! To others, Happy Sunday. :)