Hey, hey! Donna actually updated her blog. Go read it, unless you have a really weak stomach...
As for me, I'll blog later or early tomorrow...all I have to say right now is, Mike Vick, got-damn!

My right shoulder blade hurts this morning.
I just voted for the annual PFW awards.
I'm waiting for Scott Pioli, Patriots director of player personnel and general nice guy to call me in the midst of the Eastern Seaboard's latest blizzard.
I'm also waiting for free Honey Baked Hams lunch.
Also, someone brought in Krispy Kremes this morning, so "breakfast" was free too.
Later, I will go to my friend's house to "watch" the Fiesta Bowl.
I've watched roughly 15 minutes of college bowl games this year.
That's why I suck in my college bowl pools.
Enough for now, I think I just heard, "Lunch is served."
Mmmm...ham.

This one, just received, takes the cake. I'm laughing my ass off, as are my coworkers...
"This article shows me any dipshit stoner can get a journalism job..absolutely pathetic..you REALLY need to consider a career change."

Does anyone want to host my intervention? :)

A sampling of the hate mail emails I received since Tuesday (27 and counting in response to my Tuesday column. I love this stuff... :) These are not respondable to, since they're idiots. I respond when people make clear, thoughtful emails...not this drivel. Anyway, several of these people completely misread the column...I didn't make my Raiders' points clear, so I got blasted on that. But I love that the Browns fans all are concerned that I'm lumping them into one group, when I clearly say "the" two-faced Browns fans, meaning only the two-faced ones. I don't say, "Browns fans, who are two-faced" anywhere. Funny people. Enjoy, unless you don't want to read people disparaging me. :)

"You are an idiot. The Bucs coming to Philly and winning? Thats a joke. I expect you to write an apology to the eagles when they hoist the Lombardi trophy."
--I've been asked by a few to get my apologies written in advance...Also got "You're an ass, go Browns" as an entire email. I have a more favorite of that variety, but I won't post it here.

"Rarely do I visit the PFW web site, but I do buy the pre-season edition published by your company. This is the first time I've read your work. ..."
--All the more reason to just trash your email instead of reading it.

"Judging from your story on the playoffs and your mug shot, you really are as dumb as you look. ..."
--Well, at least I'm living up to the high standards my mugshot places on me... :)

"The best you could do on the Browns-Steelers is to take a jab at the fans?  You must either be a Steeler fan or you are from Kentuckey."
--Don't know where Kentuckey is, but I'm sure it's somewhere down by the ravine and the trailer park...

"You remind me of those jackass reporters that keeps talking about last year's bottle incident without acknowledging that 1) the refs made a huge error that cost quite possibly cost us the game, 2) the bottles were plastic and 3) no football fan would ever through a FULL beer away."
--Oh, I see, it's OK to throw plastic bottles that are half-full if the refs make a mistake...those won't hurt anyone.

"apparantely you know nothing of football and the great fans of cleveland maybe writing a food column is more your line of work but football surely isn't"
--Mmmmm, food...

Well, here we are in 2003. My resolutions? To keep doing what I've done. Or something like that...

I know I won't be getting a raise...we got a 1-2% of our salary bonus, which is nice...I'll use it to pay off bills or something. But still, no raise isn't really good. I looked at a few job sites and stuff a month or so ago, just to see, and as expected, there's really nothing. But we'll see in 2-3 months or so. I've decided I really can't leave until March or late February. The reasoning? None really...that's just what I think. So we'll see...

Had a good time at New Year's Eve party with the friends from the neighborhood. Pretty uneventful compared to some of the past parties--of course, I don't know what, if anything, happened after me and Donna left. Didn't get drunk or really even tipsy, and didn't see any piss-drunk drivers or cops, so that was good. I guess we're just getting old... :) But in a good way...

Today was pretty lazy...I didn't sleep too late, then me and Donna went to see Lord of the Rings: Two Towers. It was good, like the first, but there were times in the middle where it seemed to drag a bit. But overall it was worth the price of admission...then we came here and I "forced" Donna to watch the "I love the 80s" shows...she left after 1988 though, because she had some things to do at home, plus it was getting late.

So, yeah...back to work tomorrow. I really wish I could just win the lottery and stop working. I'd be able to sit on my ass all day until I got tired of it (which I would eventually) and then go out and do something good in the world, whatever and whenever I wanted.

Well, I had to write an Internet column today, but really found my heart not into it--I made some silly, half-assed predictions about the playoffs that I'll probably get roasted on in the forum, but really, my heart wasn't there. It's too bad too, because a New Year's Eve column allows for imaginative ideas and all. There's not a pall cast over the office today or anything like that, and business as usual is going on for the most part, but still, there's just this feeling hanging in the air. It's not ominous or bad...just that, you know, something's missing. I'm sure it will go away soon enough though. Maybe after lunch, if anyone goes, given the half-day most of us will be taking.
Still not 100 percent certain what's going on this afternoon and evening. I know me and Donna are going to dinner with my bros. and parents, but I'm still hung up on going to my neighborhood friends' party, since it's going to cost $20 and I'm not going to be able to drink $20 worth of alcohol since I'll be driving home--and that's the other thing--driving home. There are so many idiots out there that I don't really want to drive anywhere, but I guess so long as I'm sober we should be OK. We've been offered to stay there, but Donna's not comfortable with that, and neither am I, really. It'd be different if we stayed at my parents', but the party's not next door to their house this year. Oh well, I guess we'll survive...Happy New Year everyone, if I don't see or talk to you personally!

Warning, this is long as hell...if you read the previous post first (chronologically), you'll understand this one better, maybe.

It's really amazing how things are put into perspective at the blink of an eye. Today, I answered the phone to a guy saying he was from KMOX radio in St. Louis, and Joel Buchsbaum does a Sunday-night radio show there. He said, I'm sure you guys know about Joel. To which I said yes, not thinking anything. He said, well, we're hoping someone would come on our show and say a few words for the magazine. I snapped out of my funk and said, Hold on a minute...I put the guy on hold and turned to the editor-in-chief and asked, what happened to Joel? He said he didn't know, what? I got back on the phone and said, I think I misunderstood. What happened to Joel? He said, Oh, I'm sorry. You guys didn't know. We called his place today for him to do his radio show and his family said he passed away this morning. They found him dead in his apartment. I said, Oh...hold on again, would you? I told the editor-in-chief and those around me and everyone was in shock.

This guy was 48 years old, but he seemed and sounded like he was in his 60s sometimes. Most of our time here is spent mocking his writing, because he wasn't a journalist by any means -- he was a scout who could kind of write. But damn, did he know his football. We used to sit around and make fun of the scout-speak he used, both funny ("is a 360-pound dancing bear"), perverted, ("has trouble holding onto balls") and downright stupid sometimes...we'd sit around and make fun of his thick Brooklyn accent compounded by constant sniffling and general mouth and nose noises that were weird, along with a possible speech impediment type of problem or something. The guy always sounded as though he was sick in some way, and his voice would fluctuate in pitch from call to call. One day he'd sound high-pitched, the next a baritone.

I met Joel in 2001 in person at the draft in April. I was stunned by his appearance. This man, who I literally feared talking to as an intern because he seemed like the meanest son of a bitch ever (because he treats interns like garbage until they prove themselves worthy of his respect), I could probably snap in two with my bare hands. He was skeletal and had thick glasses that I thought could crush his nose at any moment or snap his ears right off. He had wisps of hair, but I don't think he was balding...just a general lack of special care over the years showed through--it was combed and clean...just wispy. I shook his hand and thought I was shaking the hand of an old, old man. But there was a grip. And that's what Joel was about, I guess. He was one of those people who, no matter how pathetic and vulnerable they looked, was so strong inside that it didn't really matter.

Joel had pissed me off on several occasions with his ridiculous demands...I've called hundreds of schools for information on players who were destined for the CFL or better. But because Joel needed the info on some running back from Minnesota-Morris (an actual assignment I had last week) for his book, I got it. I've also sent out a hundred mailings for the guy--printed out copies upon copies of his annual player printout and sent it to player personnel people for their opinions. I never will know if they ever called him and gave him their input, but it was part of my job. It pissed me off that I was doing such menial tasks for a long time.

That was until Joel proved himself to me to be a truly good person. At that draft, I started to get a headache. I leaned over to my colleague and asked if he had any aspirin or Advil. He said no, but Joel might. So I asked Joel. Joel said he didn't, but he might be able to get some if I wanted. I said sure. Joel disappeared for a while, and came back with a little paper bag. He had left the draft, gone to the corner pharmacy and bought me a bottle of Advil. I was shocked. I told him he didn't have to go to the store, and he said he needed some things anyway. Then, when I tried to give him $5 for it later, he yelled, "F***!" right in the middle of the draft, not loud enough for anyone to really hear, but loud nonetheless. "Forget it. You've done so much for me, it's the least I can do." I must say, that was probably the epitome of Joel. Well intentioned, but brash as hell.

The next time Joel proved to be a truly good person was when me and another colleague bailed him out big-time by doing a crapload of work for him to catch him up. He was putting together one of his books, and me and this guy busted our asses to do all kinds of extra work to help him get back on track. Now, normally Joel would not think twice about this extra work. But I talked to him on the phone and he thanked me profusely for about five minutes and said how great a job we had done and how much it helped him. He never really thanked anyone else as seriously as he did us. However, he at one point also thanked me for putting up with him, and said something like, at least you don't despise me like some of the other guys there. I told him that no one despised him, just that we're all, him included, under so much pressure most of the times we talk, that things come across differently than they would normally. He seemed satisfied with that, and I know that I kind of lied. But really, I think it was mostly a love-hate relationship with many of the guys here.

I will say that although I didn't know Joel on a personal level truly, I will miss him. It's a new feeling, this losing a coworker, even though that coworker lives several hundred miles away. I guess when you just get used to hearing someone's voice, particularly someone's voice that's so damn unique, it makes it hard when there won't be that voice anymore. It will be weird not to hear Joel's signature, "Do me a favah." or "Tank you." around here.

Now the question is, how does Pro Football Weekly move on as a business, losing someone responsible for 50 percent or more of our weekly material on the web and in the paper? I guess time will tell.

It's hard to concentrate on working when the franchise goes down...
Clearly, this stunned all of us here, and we're kind of reeling a bit. But more on it tomorrow, maybe...if I feel like it.

See, this is what I can't stand about Sundays...it's just more pronounced today because of the stupid playoff scenarios. I've sat around, more or less, for the last 15-30 minutes with nothing to do, but later I'm going to get flooded. It drives me nuts...if I'm at work, I'd like to actually work, ya know?

Hit the Red Lobster yesterday with Donna, Troy and Eulalia...it was cool, as usual, but I ate too much of the appetizer and the muffins and couldn't fight through even one whole Lake Whitefish filet. So I have 1.5 filets of Lake Whitefish and a scoop of mashed potatoes and some vegetables waiting in my fridge for me for lunch tomorrow--unless Donna stole them for herself.

Anyway, I got some cool stuff for Christmas...lots of money and checks and such, which is nice, because I can go out and get whatever...but it is always nice to get something tangible. :) No disrespect of course to those of you who got me cash or checks...

I have a handful of DVDs I'll need to watch now...Malcolm in the Middle, 24, Major League, Star Wars Phantom Menace. Lots of DVD watching ahead...

New Year's plans are still up in the air. I'm disappointed that I might have to pay to go to a party with my friends from the neighborhood as the location has changed. That also has me disappointed, because it used to be next door to my parents' house, allowing me to stumble drunkenly next door to spend the night if I so chose to do. Now, I'll have to drive around, which I hate doing because of all the drunk-ass idiots out there. But I'm not against it, I guess.

Other than that, it's almost 5pm on the final Sunday of the regular season and we still don't know what's going on with the stinkin' playoffs...stupid-ass Dolphins.

Oh well, back to work...