My eulogy to my bro-in-law...
This is as originally typed. Unfortunately, I didn't realize I would be giving the eulogy at the wake and not during the funeral at church, so I didn't print it out and had to wing it. But it was pretty close to this...God bless ya, Nick...
When I offered to deliver Nick’s eulogy, my thinking was, Nick would have wanted to do the same. He would have gotten up and made sure he said a few words at an event like this. It would typically involve a one-liner, followed by the infamous “I’m just kiddin” clarification.
But that was Nick. When I met Nick almost seven years ago, he was a very different man. The world, in fact, was very different. I was still a single guy, trying to convince this Gina girl that I was worth her time. The Cubs, at that point, were definitely going to the World Series, everyone said. And Nick was a single guy, living at home, without a real job, just kind of floating along on the breeze. He wasn’t a mope or a hermit or anything like that – he certainly made the social rounds and was looking for friends and a girlfriend and a direction in life.
You may or may not know that Nick died the same day as a Harry Kalas (sp?), the legendary Detroit Tigers baseball announcer. I’m sure that, while waiting in line to get into Heaven, Nick just walked right up to Harry and introduced himself and probably has already talked Harry’s ear off about baseball and sports in general. Nick was not afraid to talk to anyone in that way – and he related to everyone. Nick could walk into a room with this many people in it, and by the end of the night, he’d have spoken to and probably made a positive impression on at least 75 percent of them. Nick was a big personality in that way.
Of course, we also all knew Nick then was a big, big man. He tried many times, many different ways, to improve many of the things in his life – often, however, he’d simply not see the forest for the trees and would slide back into old habits and just keep floating along, again.
Nick was comfortable in this lifestyle, and who would blame him? But those of us who were close to him knew he wasn’t truly happy with himself and/or his situation. At first, I thought he was lazy. But I learned that was the farthest from the truth.
Nick busted his butt when he dedicated himself to something. I saw that in little things, like when we moved from apartment to condo to house, or when I needed help, Nick would be there doing whatever he could to help – despite his physical fitness limitations at the time. Laziness was not Nick’s problem. Sustained motivation and the celebration of minor victories were.
All this changed about two and a half years ago, and for Nick, it created an avalanche of success after success after success.
Gina and I were expecting a baby – Nick would be an uncle. It was the catalyst for change that would make us all proud today. Over the course of less than two years, Nick proceeded to lose roughly 125 pounds and get – I’m sad to say – within 15 pounds of his brother-in-law on the scales. Consider that for a minute – he did it without pills, medical procedures, fly-by-night ideas. Nick changed his diet, his lifestyle and his outlook on life – and, I might say, he helped his mom by allowing her to cook less and spend less on groceries and junk food, I bet.
From there, he reconstructed his self-confidence and self-esteem – he certainly never was shy, but the larger he got and the more perceived failures he saw over the decades, he lost a lot of that bravado and certainty that I’m sure was there when he was a younger lad.
Now, anything was possible. He stopped complaining about working nights at Walgreens and wishing that he could switch to days, and he held that job for years, because he worked hard at it and made the wise choice to stay on nights where he could get hours and have some job security at a good company.
He moved out of his mom and dad’s place, finally, and took the first step toward real independence by renting a small apartment from one of his cousins.
He even was going to play softball with many of us here on Monday nights – something I very badly wanted him to do in order to take that next step in terms of his psyche and his physical fitness. If not for his work schedule, it would have worked out.
And he finally met a girl in Allison who matched up very well with him and saw beyond his superficial imperfections to the tremendous heart of gold inside him. The future looked very bright for them, there’s no doubt about that.
So, why? Why, at the pinnacle of Nick’s transformation – at the point at which everything seemed to be going right, at the point at which he probably is the happiest he’s been since he was a boy, did God take him from us? We may never know. But the possibilities are endless.
Maybe Heaven SportsTalk Radio needed a Harry Caray impersonator, and God called on Nick?
Maybe one of us would have had a terrible day or been in danger in some way had we not attended this funeral or Nick’s wake or whatever else might surround this?
Heck, maybe Grandma Annie missed laughing at Nick’s antics and God decided it was time for Nick to bring those one-liners, and the “Hey, how ya doin’s” and the “Why certainlys” and all the other Nick-isms up to Heaven?
Maybe someone down here will see that this man died suddenly at age 39 and say, “Whoa, I’d better shape up and do better, because my time can end, just like that”?
Maybe Nick’s cousin Judy needed another loud vocal champion to help run her NCAA confidence pool in Heaven and figured Nick was perfect for the job?
Maybe someone who is overweight and out of shape will see that Nick was able to lose 125 pounds with the right motivation, and that encouragement will help the person lose the weight?
Maybe A.J. – my son and Nick’s nephew, whom he absolutely loved – in 15 years or so will wonder about his Uncle Nick, learn about what happened and dedicate himself to science and medicine in order to prevent these kinds of things from happening?
Is that wild speculation? Sure – I never claimed I didn’t have a good imagination. It could be any or all of those things.
It also could be that God just needed another guardian angel to put to work watching over us, and Nick sat at the top of that list. I strongly believe in guardian angels, and I know Nick practically could have been a guardian angel on Earth. I’m sure he will be watching over A.J. and his second niece/nephew, making sure that they are safe and well-guided in their lives.
We know you were taken from us far too soon for us to understand right now, but we love you and always will, and we’re all so ridiculously proud of you for everything you’ve done through your entire life, not just in the last two and a half years.
Thank you for everything you did for us Nick, and for everything that your tragic story might do for us in the future. We’d rather have you here to love, but we’re not the ones who get the final say.
Nick, we will think about you forever, and we look forward to seeing you again someday. We hope to hear your joyous screams carried softly on the wind if the Hawks win the Cup this year. And, if that starts a run of championships in Chicago sports, we’ll know for sure who’s now pulling the strings up in Heaven.
God, please give Nick a place in Heaven worthy of the most kind-hearted, considerate, respectable men to live on this planet. Nick deserves it. But God, if it’s anywhere near you, I hope you have your earplugs handy.
