Sing to the tune of "Jingle Bells":

Dash out to the store
is what they want us to do.
So they'll shove Christmas
down the throats of me and you.

Tried to fight it off,
Tried with all my might,
but now The Lite is playing Christmas music day and night!

Oh, please buy things
Please buy things
with leaves still on some trees.

The holidays
fill me with praise,
but can we delay, please?

Please buy things
Please buy things
Sooner every year.

Please drop dough,
yeah, even though
Thanksgiving still ain't here.