Weird dreams are great, by the way.

Last night, I dreamt that I was a substitute altar boy at my old church. I had to carry the crucifix thingie up to the altar at the start of Mass. I was decked out in the altar boy gear too, which is funny, because I don't think they make them in my current size. :) But the priest was yelling at me that I was standing in the wrong place all the time and was being a grumpy, general dickhead. I turned to my brother, who was also subbing with me, and told him I was going to punch the priest in the face right there. He said that probably would be a bad idea. Then the priest yelled at me again (this all in the back of the church still, before Mass), and I went to take a swing at him, but Tim grabbed my arm on my backswing and calmed me down.

We walked up the aisle at the start of the Mass. But instead of putting the crucifix thingie where it was "supposed" to go in real life, I was forced to stand and hold it up throughout the Mass. The altar had minor variations off how I remember it from when I actually was an altar boy, way back in the day. I noticed them, but then I began to notice how tired my legs and back were. The crucifix thingie was heavy, and I was getting tired, since I had to stand, like, perfectly still, as though I was part of a statue. I just wanted to sit down. Then, in the middle of Mass, the priest turns to me and says, well, if you'd take that briefcase off your right shoulder, your load would be more balanced and easier to handle. And then he says to take the huge backpack off your back and let someone else carry it for you and you'll be fine.

So I did that, and lo and behold, I was much more comfortable standing there, next to the altar. Then i noticed the smell of jalapeno peppers. I looked down and noticed that the altar was actually a nacho bar, complete with peppers, several kinds of salsa, melted and shredded cheese, chili, etc. The priest was saying Mass, and I was wanting to eat the nachos that were on the altar. He mentioned nothing about the nachos. And I did not eat them. And then I woke up. And I didn't get struck down either. It was strange.