A good friend of mine posted this question to our email group: Who are your top five peripheral characters in TV
history? In other words, no Homer Simpson. None of the Big Four on Seinfeld. No Lucy. No Sam Malone. Who are the five peripheral characters who you just can't help but laugh at, or who just rivet you to the screen?

Here's my response, posted for those of you not on that email list...the rest of you can skip this entry... :)
No. 1 is easy--the rest, not so much...
1. Professor Frink, "The Simpsons"--"Unshrink you? Well that would require some sort of a Re-bigulator which is a concept so ridiculous it makes me want to laugh out loud and chortle... but aaahh, but not at you Oh holiest of Gods, with the wrathfulness and the vengeance and the bloodrain and the 'hey hey hey it hurts me'." and "After evaluating millions of pieces of data in the blink of an eye, the Gamble-Tron 2000 says the winner is... Cincinnati by 200 points!? Why, you worthless hunk of junk."
2. Swedish Chef, any Muppets TV show--"Vin di hern de shocolate mousse. Smerned di vernd de shocolate, and smernd di vernd de moose. Vere de moose? Moose, moose...moo-oose?"
3. Soundwave, "Transformers"--My favorite Decepticon (bad guy). He toiled and toiled through two leaders, yet was more loyal than any Decepticon. And, even better, his voice kicked much ass. Coolest cartoon voice EVER--he was a boombox that ejected transformable cassettes that turned into a hawk, a panther, two mini-men--one that created earthquakes (Rumble)...damn cool. And his voice was dead on for what a boombox transformer should sound like.
4. David Puddy, "Seinfeld"--"It's my eight-ball jacket. You got a question? Ask the eight-ball." or "High five. On the flip side."
5. Roscoe P. Coltrane, "Dukes of Hazzard"--not sure if he's peripheral, but if you count the car as a main character, well, I think Coltrane certainly is peripheral.
Honorable mentions:
--Tony Almeda, "24" For whatever reason, I've connected with this guy, and if they kill him off, I will seriously hold a major grudge against the show.
--Blur, "Transformers"--crazy, second generation Autobot who talked a mile a minute, had a "moustache" and was a hover-car of some sort. Seemed to be on a mixture of speed, caffeine and Red Bull all the time.