Sometimes I wonder about my best and potentially worst trait: Loyalty.

Now, I like to think I'm not blindly loyal to things, but I'm sure that many of you, in time, have seen me obsess over something at one time or another.

There are many things I'm loyal to. Family, friends, principles, rules, ideals--not in that specific order. Different situations call for different loyalties. If I know you though, and I believe you to be as loyal to me as I am to you, chances are, you'll have my loyalty.

My loyalty is not hard to earn. Basically, if I know you and can get along with you and you don't screw me over or treat me like crap, you have some measure of my support--my loyalty. As our relationship grows, I become more loyal.

Last night, as I was driving back from my friend's bachelor party, at which I stayed 45 minutes yet shelled out the equivalent of everyone else in terms of "entry fee," I wondered why i had even gone? Especially when I felt like I was getting sicker and sicker and really thought I'd wake up with a full-on fever this morning. It was because I knew my lifelong friends were counting on me to be there and ante up when i said I would. i didn't think twice (OK, didn't think three times) about rolling out of bed and forking over a pretty penny to eat one italian beef sandwich, drink two cups of orange juice, and watch one (of a scheduled three) stripper prance around my friend. Whoop-dee-do.

I had gotten sicker after playing softball in the cold for two hours on Friday, wiping my nose with my sleeve and sneezing every five minutes in a very attractive display for all to see. But in softball, you can't pull Kleenex out of your pocket and wipe your nose. I was out there because, well, we wouldn't have had enough guys to field a team if I didn't show up. Again, loyalty, at the cost of my Saturday, which I was supposed to clean my bedroom, which has about two square feet of walking space because every unpacked crate and box I own is on the floor in there.

Then, sometimes, there are times when I'm loyal (having nothing to do with those above) in work, friendships, etc., and I get the feeling that there's no appreciation for the efforts, ya know? And it's those times when I wonder, maybe I'm too loyal and too worried about everyone else other than myself? Am I a dick for thinking that way? I don't think so...but maybe I'm wrong.

Now, I'm not complaining, and I guess I'm not asking for comments, really...and, nothing has spurred this on except the events of this weekend, and it's not as though I'm mad about these things--I'm thrilled that I played softball on Friday and played pretty well, and I'm happy I got to make an appearance at my friend's bachelor party and show that I cared. But remember, I laid in bed pretty much awake from about 10am-8pm yesterday, also thinking that I was getting sicker and sicker (and I'm not a hypochondriac, like PolishBasia... ;) ).

Anyway, chew on that, assess your own loyalties and what you've done for yours lately and enjoy your Monday. :) I'm going to be trying to fend off the rest of this cold, set up my voice mail on my cell phone and hopefully, hopefully get some unpacking done. And that's not even counting if I go and volunteer some time with Special Olympics in Rosemont through work. For that, we shall see how I feel (sick-wise)...